Growing Up Hayden


We’ve named our blog, Growing Up Hayden because we feel it’s a testament to what it is to live in the now, in a world where the LGBT community is fighting for acceptance and equality.  Our content is focused on all aspects of what it is to live, love and thrive in what’s still a very judgmental world.  Growing Up Hayden is a live narrative that we hope will continue to illustrate positive changes and a more and more loving, open and welcoming world.


At many busy Starbucks locations, baristas write the names of customers on cups and shout their names once their orders are ready. President-elect Donald Trump’s supporters seemed to have seized on this procedure of the LGBTQ friendly company and have started telling Starbucks employees that their name is Trump, prompting baristas to shout out “Trump!”

Many Trump supporters took selfies with their cups and posted the pictures to social media with the hashtag #TrumpCup. #TrumpCup’s creator, Tim Treadstone, a social media strategist and political consultant from Los Angeles, told The Washington Post that he started the campaign after watching a video of a Starbucks barista who refused to write Trump’s name on a customer’s coffee cup. Treadstone called it a First Amendment exercise.

“This was never meant to be a boycott. I love Starbucks. I have no intention to stray any business from Starbucks at all,” he said, adding that he encouraged his Twitter followers to give baristas an extra tip if they were enthusiastic about writing Trump’s name on the cups.

In response to #TrumpCup, Starbucks released a statement saying that writing customers’ names on cups has been a “fun ritual” at its stores. “Rarely has it been abused or taken advantage of. We hope and trust that our customers will continue to honor that tradition,” the coffee giant said. “We don’t require our partners to write or call out names.”

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What Are You Thankful For?

Happy Thanksgiving from Hayden’s List.

John Oliver host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight ended his season with a F**k You 2016 video to send into oblivion all the horrible events of the past year. Some of these events include the election results, the water in Flint, Michigan and the deaths of Prince, David Bowie and Muhammad Ali. You can view the video here.

While we at Hayden’s List are also disappointed with some of the events of 2016, we want to celebrate all the positives that have occurred:

– Stonewall named as the first LGBT National Park
– “Out” celebrities such as Kristin Stewart, Sara Ramirez, Miley Cyrus and Wentworth Miller
– LGBTQ supportive companies like Delta, Nike, Target, Justice, Apple and NY Grilled Cheese Company
– Conversion therapy banned in five states and in these cities: Seattle, Miami, Cincinnati and Washington DC
– Harvey Milk honored by the US Navy with the naming of a ship
– Record number of “out” athletes competed at the Summer Olympics

Comment below and tell us what you are thankful for in 2016.

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Time Will Tell…And It Has

Time Will Tell…And It Has

This picture has been making its way around social media since the presidential election. While we love seeing diversity on Trump’s team, our question is this:

Will President Trump’s policies reveal him to be a woman hating racist homophobe?

Time will tell…And it has.

I originally wrote this the week of the election. Since then Trump has nominated Jeff Sessions for Attorney General, Mike Pompeo for CIA director, and Reince Priebus for Chief of Staff, all older white men. Today Trump finally added some diversity to his team. He announced the nominations of Betsy DeVos as Education Secretary, Nikki Haley as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and is looking at Ben Carson to head the Department of Housing and Urban Development.

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We Agree With Trump (kind of)

Yes, you read that right. We agree with President-Elect Trump on ONE issue, the safety of US citizens.

During his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in July and one month after a terrorist attack in a gay nightclub that killed 49 people, Trump promised to keep the LGBTQ community safe. “As president, I will do everything in my power to protect LGBTQ citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology,” Trump told the crowd at the Republican Convention.

Here at Hayden’s List, we agree that the President of the United States should do everything in his or her power to keep all Americans safe. But not just from foreign threats of terrorism but also from discrimination and hate crimes. We hope that President-elect Trump uses everything in his power to protect LGBTQ citizens from those threats also.

WATCH: Trump Makes Promise To Protect The LGBT Community

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Federal Employee Would Rather Be Fired Than Watch LGBTQ Diversity Video

David Hall, a Social Security employee of fourteen years from Illinois says he would rather get fired than watch an LGBTQ diversity training video.

Hall was instructed by his supervisor on June 2 and again on June 24 to watch the video. Hall refused both times and claimed the video was against his religious beliefs. “I’m not going to certify sin,” he said. Hall was suspended for two days without pay for failing to watch the video.

Hall also argues that other community groups have not had a mandatory training. “We have never done that for another particular class of people. We haven’t done it for veterans, the disabled, blacks, Hispanics, or anything else.”

Hall has still not watched the video and he said his supervisor has threatened further disciplinary actions, including a longer suspension if he doesn’t comply.

What do you think he should do?

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President Trump: A Giant Step Backward for LGBTQ Inclusion and Equality

There is much speculation after the election on the future of LGBTQ rights.  If we go by what President-elect Donald Trump said during the campaign, it is a scary and uncertain time for the LGBTQ community.  In fact, Dr. Patrick Egan, an associate professor of politics and public policy at New York University says, “It’s grim,” for the future of LGBTQ rights under President Donald Trump.  Trump ran for office on one of the most anti-gay platforms in history. That is cause for concern says Egan because even if Trump doesn’t have a vendetta against LGBTQ Americans, his campaign and his vice-president do.

According to Egan, the following LGBTQ rights will be safe under a Trump presidency:

Marriage Equality Even if Trump nominates conservative Supreme Court justices, it passed with conservative Justice Antonin Scalia 5-4.  Also for the Supreme Court to consider overturning its ruling, a relevant conflict on the issue of marriage equality would need to occur on a state level. Then, the court would need to agree to hear it. Egan said, the justices are unlikely to overrule a precedent that’s been established so recently.  The general public per opinion polls, supports marriage equality.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell The measure that prohibited LGBTQ Americans from serving openly in the military was overturned in 2010 with wide support. There have been minimum calls to reinstate it.

While that is good news, the following pursuits for LGBTQ rights will be suspended with a Trump presidency according to Egan.
Equality Act The Equality Act would establish employment discrimination rights for the LGBTQ community. All efforts to put this on the agenda for Congress are, “…just completely dead in the water” said Egan.

Grants The Obama Administration awarded grants to LGBTQ social services organizations. These grants will be discontinued under President Trump.

Transgender Support The Obama Administration’s guidelines for protecting transgender students from discrimination in public schools will be gone. The Trump administration is likely to stand behind state judges who rule against the guidelines. Also it’s unlikely Trump’s administration will openly oppose discriminatory “bathroom bills,” such as North Carolina’s House Bill 2, as Obama’s has.

Religious Freedom Law Egan believes that a stronger version of Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act will be introduced in Congress and signed by Trump. The only way for Democrats to stop it would be filibustering or holding the congressional floor until a vote on the bill becomes impossible.

Egan also states that whether or not Trump moves to restrict LGBT rights will depend if he feels the need to pay back the Christian right for its support. So we don’t know how Trump will respond to anti-LGBTQ bills until they cross his desk next year.

But one thing is clear: Trump’s administration will be a giant step backward for LGBT inclusion and equality.

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Contact to Crisis Centers Doubles After the Election

Contact to Crisis Centers Doubles After the Election

Many crisis and suicide prevention centers saw a large uptick in callers after the presidential election.

The Crisis Text Line which connects texters with crisis counselors reported an increase of eight times the normal volume as the election results become evident. Spokeswoman Liz Eddy said that on an average day, this crisis line sees about 1,000 texters. From 7AM on Election Day to the next morning the number jumped to 2,000. The number then doubled to 4,000 from Wednesday morning to Thursday morning.

Eddy also reported that “election” and “scared” were the top two words mentioned by texters in the twenty-four hours after the election.  The phrase most commonly associated with “scared” was “LGBTQ.”

The Trevor Project, the national leader in providing crisis and suicide prevention support to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth, also saw an increase in contact from the LGBTQ community.

“It’s been ongoing since Tuesday night,” Steve Medelsohn, Deputy Executive Director explained. “Young people are calling us who’ve never called us before. They’re scared, and they don’t know who to turn to.  Given all the rhetoric that they’ve heard leading up to the election, it makes sense that they’re frightened.”

More recently, Mendelsohn said, there was a spike in unanticipated calls in June, after the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida. The post-election volume, he said, is 70% higher than it was then.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or suicidal thoughts, no matter what the trigger, these national services exist to provide people with support and the reminder that they are not alone.

Beyond what a counselor can say directly, here are some ideas to help lift people up according to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

Be there for each other.

Get back to a routine.

Limit exposure to conversations or media — social or otherwise — that aggravates feelings of hopelessness.

One of the best ways to help yourself, is to help others through acts of kindness and compassion. Volunteer at a place that matters to you. Get involved with a cause that speaks to your core.

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