Growing Up Hayden

 

We’ve named our blog, Growing Up Hayden because we feel it’s a testament to what it is to live in the now, in a world where the LGBT community is fighting for acceptance and equality.  Our content is focused on all aspects of what it is to live, love and thrive in what’s still a very judgmental world.  Growing Up Hayden is a live narrative that we hope will continue to illustrate positive changes and a more and more loving, open and welcoming world.

Business owner moved to tears by outpouring of support after she stood up for LGBT rights. 

The owner of a Greek restaurant in Wisconsin was ‘shocked’ by the support she has received after she made a public stand against a homophobe

The owner of a Greek restaurant in La Crosse, Wisconsin, was moved to tears over the weekend at the show of support and gratitude she received after shutting down a homophobe on Facebook.
Despina Kozidis, AKA Gracie, is the owner of Gracie’s Gyros and Wraps on Campbell Road.

When a woman posted a message on a La Crosse Foodie Facebook page seeking recommendations for places to eat in the town, Gracie took the opportunity to post a message last Wednesday about her business.

That should have been the end of the matter, except for the fact that Kozidis had recently changed her profile image to incorporate a rainbow via the Facebook rainbow filter app.

Her posting was spotted by local Tea Party activist, Greg Luce, reports the La Crosse Tribune. He clearly didn’t like the fact that Gracie was a visible supporter of LGBT rights, and posted a message saying that he would no longer consider using her business.

‘Hi Despina. I saw your post on La Crosse Foodie. I love gyros, but I detest people with rainbow filters on their picture. It’s an abomination that we are being forced to condone deviant sexual behavior. I will NOT be visiting your restaurant, I’m sorry.’

Kozidis was shocked. She had not expected negative commentary and was thrown by what to do. She phoned her daughter, Sofia Kozidis, for advice.

‘She was freaking out,’ Sophia told the Tribune, before explaining that her mother had experienced intolerance and bigotry while growing up in Greece but had not expected to encounter the same in the U.S.

‘The culture that she’s grown up in is sometimes not very accepting, but in coming to the U.S., being a single mother, having a business, she’s learning every day how to be a part of the community, how to be accepting.’

Mother and daughter thought long about what to do, before deciding that they didn’t think a customer with views such as those voiced by Luce would be welcome at their establishment. So, Gracie answered with the following message.
‘That’s great! We prefer to have accepting, coexisting consumers. It seems we have come to an agreement that it is best for both parties that you do not visit my business. Thank you.’

Sofia took a screenshot of the exchange. She redacted Luce’s surname, and posted the image to her own Facebook page and also to the La Crosse Foodie page. Luce labeled the posting as ‘inappropriate’, and removed his comment. The La Crosse Foodie page was also subsequently closed down.

Any fears Gracie may have had that her stance would lead to negative recriminations against her business were quickly dispelled. She received message of support on both her own Facebook page and the page of Gracie’s Gyros and Wraps.

After the end of business on Saturday, the following message was posted on the Gracie’s Gyros and Wraps page:

‘We want to thank each and every single person who commented, sent well wishes and love and traveled to come and see Gracie at the restaurant today.

‘We were not prepared for the overwhelming outpouring of love and support. So, if you did not get served as quickly as we would have wanted to serve you, please accept our deepest apologies!

‘Come back and we now know how to handle this.

‘This was completely unexpected and very much appreciated. Gracie, at one point, had to go into the kitchen and cry from the level of attendance and show of support.

‘You will never know just how much this means to her and her family. So please, accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience that may have been caused today. We love you. We want to see you again. We are closed tomorrow but Monday will bring a new day and better preparations for all the love coming our way!’

Another posting simply said: ‘At Gracie’s we love everyone. Food does not show discrimination; food does not judge and everyone is welcome under a roof of love here!’

Speaking to Gay Star Business, Gracie said that she had been ‘shocked’ by the support she had received over the last few days: ‘I’m still in shock’.

Although she had received ‘a couple’ of negative comments on social media, the positive comments had greatly outweighed the negative.

A spokesperson for 7 Rivers LGBTQ Connection, a local advocacy organization that promotes LGBT-friendly businesses, told Gay Star Business it was great to see the establishment get such support.

‘Gracie’s has worked to keep their doors open through some lean times,’ said Executive Director, Jackson Jantzen.

‘It makes her willingness to make the exchange and her position as a welcoming and inclusive business member a more powerful gesture.

‘We are so grateful to see such a large number of our community rally around her with appreciation. It’s a powerful moment in time for our community here in the rural Midwest region our organization serves.’

Have you been to Gracie’s Gyros and Wraps?

Submit a review for them and encourage everyone to head to Gracie’s!

 

 

 

 

Source: Business owner moved to tears by outpouring of support after she stood up for LGBT rights – Gay Star News

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“Tell Us Tuesday:” Heyyy y’all Nashville is coming out!

   
  “I admire this town a lot. They take care of their own. There’s not a lot of places in the world, much less America, that do that. It’s just a great place.”

-Justin Timberlake

Nashville is HL’s newest city on the list! We want to know what businesses in Nashville are LGBT friendly and not so friendly. Check out our Nashville page here. Let’s do as JT suggests and take care of our own. 

Click here and submit a Nashville review!

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Proud to announce new partnership with “Family Equality Council”

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Hayden’s List is proud to announce a new partnership with the Family Equality Council.

Family Equality Council connects, supports, and represents the three million parents who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer in this country and their six million children. We are changing attitudes and policies to ensure that all families are respected, loved, and celebrated—including families with parents who are LGBTQ. We are a community of parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren that reaches across this country. For 30 years we have raised our children and raised our voices toward fairness for all families.

Visit their website via our Partners page and stay tuned for a list of their upcoming events and resources in your area!

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The Time I Ended it With a Guy Because He Was a Homophobe

The Time I Ended it With a Guy Because He Was a Homophobe

It wasn’t long after the local pride festival ended in this little provincial town you may or may not have heard of: London, England. I had been seeing this guy (we’ll call him John Doe) regularly on and off for a few months. After many meals shared and quite a few bottles of wine, I figured he knew enough about me. Or so I thought.

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It was an afternoon like any other in London. We were lolling about, talking, about nothing in particular when he became rather outspoke and upset about the recent pride festival.

“I don’t understand it,” he said. “Why does there have to be a festival?”

I didn’t say anything, just listened because I wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking.

“I mean, I’m straight but I don’t have to have a week-long party about it.”

“Spoken like a privileged male,” I said disappointed in yet another typical and rather unenlightened response one might suspect from a white, straight male.

Dodging my barb, he carried on, “I mean, come on. It’s just not normal,” he said.

“What’s not normal?” I asked looking at him square in the eyes.

He reiterated his point about how he thinks it’s a bit much to take over a whole city to celebrate one’s sexuality.

Again I listened and waited. But this time I listened with every bone in my body because something told me this was just a little itch of a conversation. I could already feel that when scratched, it would reveal a whole other layer to this person I had not yet seen or experienced.

For a moment, I commiserated for my fellow Londoner. Yes, the way they close off streets is disruptive. “But,” I said, “it’s really important to see thousands of people gathering together to celebrate something in order to bring awareness to it. Don’t you think?”

He scrunched up his face before I could end my sentence.

I felt myself starting to prickle. Somehow, I knew what was coming. We’ve all been in these conversations before; on Facebook, among family and sometimes even friends. Who agrees with what and their reasoning. But I’d never had this conversation with someone I was romantically involved with. I hadn’t needed to. I’d never dream of being with someone who wasn’t supportive. And until this moment, I was convinced this guy was supportive.

“I’m sorry but I just don’t think it’s normal. God created man and woman and that’s what a family is.”

He went on but I stopped listening. Suddenly I felt sick. All of my favorite people flashed past my heart; I thought about my closest friends, their families. I got up from my chair, walked to the other side of the room to physically distance myself from him, carefully calculating my next words, biting my tongue as long as I could so that I could channel the surge of red, hot anger I felt rising inside my chest.

He kept on, oblivious. “Think about it,” he said. “These people are sick.”

That’s when I lost it. Quietly, I asked him, “You think you have a choice?”

He cocked his head to one side, not quite understanding the concept.

“You think you get to choose? You think somehow you get a choice in the matter between being attracted to men or women?”

He retracted a little, softening his tone. “I just think it’s not normal.”

“Well, actually, what’s not normal is the way you think,” I said, unable to pretend not to feel hostility towards him.

He blinked. I wasn’t sure what astounded me more, his arrogance or his ignorance. His attitude against gays was something more than what he realized — it was against me. A straight, white female; the female he had a vested interest in.

Furious, I asked him, “Do you not realize that I dedicate a whole lot of my time and energy, heart and soul to eradicate mentalities just like yours?”

He opened his mouth but I spoke first.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have room for you or your mentality in my life. Not when all of my closest friends and business partners are in a community you find not normal or, ‘sick’ as you say.”

I opened the door and waited.

He looked at me in disbelief. “Are you kicking me out?”

I nodded yes. “I’m sorry but I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

“Shame,” he said then grabbed his jacket and left. I didn’t walk him out. When I heard the front door close, part of my heart fell on the floor. It was shocking. How many conversations had we had about the things I’m passionate about? Had he been pretending? Holding his opinion back? Was he trying to make an effort to open up? I had no idea but the truth is, prior to those five minutes, I actually liked the guy. He was beautiful in a lot of ways. Good to me. Generous and adoring of me. I felt sad for him more than anything. How horrible and scary it must be to be so trapped in such a dark world.

I suppose I had a choice. I could have engaged in a conversation with him. I could have tried to change his mind, let a little light in. The truth is, that kind of unenlightened, unevolved mentality only responds to consequence. And as a consequence to his antiquated dinosaur mentality, he’s losing out. On me, on all the best people in my life that he’ll never get to meet because of his own puny, sad ideas.

He walked out of my life and my world opened up again. My hope is that maybe his has too.