Growing Up Hayden

 

We’ve named our blog, Growing Up Hayden because we feel it’s a testament to what it is to live in the now, in a world where the LGBT community is fighting for acceptance and equality.  Our content is focused on all aspects of what it is to live, love and thrive in what’s still a very judgmental world.  Growing Up Hayden is a live narrative that we hope will continue to illustrate positive changes and a more and more loving, open and welcoming world.

Extra Rights?

As of February 9, Trump Cabinet pick Ben Carson is awaiting a floor vote for confirmation.

During his confirmation hearing, Senator Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) pressed the Housing and Urban Development nominee about whether he would enforce LGBT protections in the public housing sector. “Of course, I would enforce all the laws of the land,” Carson responded. “Of course, I think all Americans should be protected by the law. What I have said before is I don’t think anyone should get ‘extra rights.”

Do you think the LGBTQ community receives “extra rights”? Have you ever been discriminated against when renting or purchasing a home? Hayden’s List wants you to raise your voices. Comment here.

Tags: , , ,
Highlights to be Reflective of All Families

Highlights to be Reflective of All Families

In October 2016, the children’s magazine Highlights was accused of neglecting LGBTQ readers. Kristina Wertz, an LGBTQ activist posted on Facebook about the lack of same-sex couples in Hello, a magazine published by Highlights aimed at children up to two years old. Wertz’s Facebook post said the following: “One of the reasons we appreciate Hello is the diversity represented — families of all races, interracial families, and grandparents. We are consistently disappointed, however, in the complete lack of same-sex parents in Hello magazine. . . . Since becoming a parent, I feel keenly aware of the messages kids’ books send to tiny minds. There is a deep need for books that positively reflect back the diversity of the world around us.”

Highlights responded to Wertz by saying that the conversations about same-sex families should be initiated by families. “We understand your wish to see your family’s situation represented in Highlights Hello. For much of our readership, the topic of same-sex families is still new, and parents are still learning how to approach the subject with their children, even the very little ones. We believe that parents know best when their family is ready to open conversation around the topic of same-sex families.”

Needless to say that response was met with outrage. Highlights apologized immediately, saying its initial response wasn’t “reflective of our values, intentions or our position.”

“We want to reiterate that we believe all families matter. We know that there are many ways to build a family, and that love is the essential ingredient,” according to the statement. “This conversation has helped us see that we can be more reflective of all kinds of families in our publications. We are committed to doing so as we plan future issues.”

The February issue of Highlights will include an illustration of a same-sex couple, two men loading a station wagon for a family trip in an item that invites readers to send letters. “Has your family ever taken a memorable family trip?” the text reads. “Tell us where you went and what you liked about it.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2017/01/06/highlights-childrens-magazine-to-publish-image-of-same-sex-couple-for-first-time-after-controversy/?utm_term=.fcd84f966495

Tags: , , ,

Sad Future for the LGBTQ & Public Education?

February 7 was a sad day for public education, especially our most at risk students, the LGBTQ community with the confirmation of Betsy DeVos as Education Secretary.

LGBTQ advocates opposed DeVos based on major donations from her family’s foundations to anti-LGBTQ groups, including Focus on the Family, the Family Research Council and the National Organization for Marriage. These groups support the highly controversial conversion therapy.

David Stacy, of the Human Rights Campaign, said his organization is “disappointed” with the confirmation and will watch to see if the Education Department takes actions to rescind LGBTQ rights. “She is now charged with ensuring that LGBTQ students around the country are able to go to school in a safe environment where they can learn without compromising who they are,” Stacy said. “We hope our substantial concerns about her commitment to maintaining and advancing protections for LGBTQ students are disproven by her actions. But, if instead she moves to roll back legal protections or fails to enforcement them, we will fight every step of the way to ensure LGBTQ students are safe and respected in their schools.”

All Democrats in the Senate and two Republicans voted against DeVos. Vice President Mike Pence broke the 50-50 tie to assure DeVos’ confirmation.

Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont expressed his concern about DeVos by saying, “Mrs. DeVos and her family have contributed to anti-LGBT causes and anti-women’s health efforts, which are in direct conflict to the one who is supposed to lead the Department of Education. How can a nominee disagree with the mission of the Department of Education and be fit to oversee that agency and promote the civil rights of schools and college campuses?”

Senator Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin, who is the only out lesbian in Congress, declared her opposition to DeVos before the confirmation vote and said that she’s “troubled” by the DeVos family’s contributions to anti-LGBT organizations.  “While she told me and several of my colleagues at her hearing that she believes all students should be treated equally, I really remain concerned about how this long history of support for these anti-LGBTQ organizations will influence a department which, over the last eight years, has shown some tremendous leadership in supporting LGBTQ students and parents in the education system,” said Baldwin.

During her confirmation hearing, DeVos denied having anti-LGBTQ views, saying she’s “never supported” conversion therapy and the anti-LGBTQ donations were from her family, not her or her husband. According to the American Federation of Teachers, a foundation run by DeVos and her husband, contributed $100,000 to the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, which opposed marriage equality.

As the leader of the Education Department, DeVos could rescind protections that the Obama administration started that interprets federal law to prohibit schools from discriminating against transgender students or denying them access to the restroom consistent with their gender identity.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Proud of the Fight

Proud of the Fight

Last year, Joe Maldonado, an eight year old in Secaucus, NJ, came out as a boy when he began the second grade. He then signed up for the Cub Scouts, intending to join his friends in fun science projects and camping. According to Maldonado’s mother, Kristie, the other children were fine with his presence and he had been accepted at school. Other parents, however, felt differently and complained to Scout officials, she said.

“It made me mad,” Joe, told The Record, a North Jersey newspaper. “I had a sad face, but I wasn’t crying. I’m way more angry than sad. My identity is a boy. If I was them, I would let every person in the world go in. It’s right to do.”

In 2013, the Boy Scouts of America ended its ban on openly gay youths participating in its activities and two years later, the organization ended its ban on openly gay adult leaders. Joe appears to be the first transgender boy removed from the organization.

On its website, Girl Scouts of the USA directly answered questions about transgender members, saying that “placement of transgender youth is handled on a case-by-case basis, with the welfare and best interests of the child and the members of the troop/group in question a top priority.”

“That said,” the organization continued, “if the child is recognized by the family and school/community as a girl and lives culturally as a girl, then Girl Scouts is an organization that can serve her in a setting that is both emotionally and physically safe.”

After learning Joe’s story, Kyle Hackler, the leader of Pack 20 in Essex County New Jersey, petitioned the Northern New Jersey Council to allow Joe to join his group. Hackler said he was told that such decisions were deferred to the national organization. The Boy Scouts said in December in a statement to The Record that it would continue to use the gender on birth certificates to determine eligibility.

Then in January, The Boy Scouts decided to change its longtime policy. The decision was in part a response to the national debate generated by Joe’s story. The Boy Scouts said in a statement that they are “pleased to welcome Joe and the Maldonado family back into the Scouting community. Moving forward, the BSA will continue to work to bring the benefits of our programs to as many children, families and communities as possible.”

On February 7, in a moment of historic significance, Joe put on a Cub Scout uniform and became a member of Pack 20 while his mother held back tears. “This is fun; I’m so proud,” Joe said during the meeting. He said that the best part of the night was that “I am accepted, and I’m actually in Boy Scouts.”

Hackler said after the meeting that Joe’s presence was “historic” because he had become Scouting’s first openly transgender member. He praised Joe for showing “an immense amount of courage.”

After the Boy Scouts reversal last month, Kristie thanked Hackler for his support, and their conversation led to Joe becoming a member of Pack 20. Kristie said she was “proud of the fight” she had put up after Joe was removed from his Secaucus Pack. She feels very comfortable with Joe in his new pack saying “I know there are loving and caring people here.”

http://www.northjersey.com/story/news/2017/02/07/secaucus-transgender-boy-returns-scouting/97608482/
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/30/us/cub-scouts-transgender.html?_r=0

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m Sad Because I’m A Boy

All parents are worried for their childrens’ futures but James Christian and Mary Carter have a little more to worry about with their daughter Jackie.  Jackie was born Jack and is now a toddler transitioning.

Jackie’s birthday is in mid-October, but for Carter and Christian, a second date is seared in memory almost as intensely — what Carter calls “The Day.” On May 15, 2014, Jackie, who was normally a happy toddler, Carter noticed something was off. When asked Jackie put her head down and said “I’m sad because I’m a boy.”

Carter responded by asking Jackie “Well, are you happy being you?” and that made Jackie smile. Carter said Jackie being happy is all that really mattered and that become “The Day.”

A new job for Christian had prompted the family to move from Atlanta to Oakland two years ago. Carter and Christian say they feel lucky they’ve landed there. The Bay Area is one of the most LGBT friendly regions in the nation. The challenges ahead might be far greater, Christian says, if they’d stayed in the South.

It’s only been a little more than a year since Jack became Jackie. Neither of her parents has any illusions about the potential struggles ahead. Transgender people have alarmingly high rates of depression, substance abuse and suicide.

“There will be more challenges, certainly, as Jackie gets older and gets around more kids,” Christian says. “Then puberty, and dating, and the challenges will be like a very steep curve. But I’m hoping that by the time she gets there, I hope, one, we’ve given her the tools and two, that there’s more acceptance of this issue.”

http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2015/07/04/419498242/at-age-3-transitioning-from-jack-to-jackie

Tags: , , ,
A New Hero in the Kennedy Clan

A New Hero in the Kennedy Clan

Last week in Aspen, Colorado, Conor Kennedy, the grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, was arrested charged with disorderly conduct.

A bar fight broke out at the Bootsy Bellows nightclub and Kennedy was seen punching a man. Witnesses have stated that a friend of Kennedy’s was called a homophobic slur by a group of men and the men refused to apologize. Kennedy’s lawyer stated “Multiple witnesses to the incident have reported that two men assaulted Kennedy after he rebuked them for directing a homophobic slur and threats to his close friend.”

Robert Kennedy Jr., Conor’s father, stated “Conor has always reacted against bullying. I’m happy he stood up for his friend.”

Could politics be in Kennedy’s future?  Fingers crossed.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Raising a Child Without Gender

Raising a Child Without Gender

In December 2016, the world lost not only a major advocate for mental health and feminism, but Carrie Fisher was also was an outstanding mother, raising her daughter Billie Lourd, without gender. In a September interview with Teen Vogue, Lourd reflected on her empowering upbringing.

“She told me to be true, and kind, and confident in yourself. She raised me to not think of men and women as different. She raised me without gender. It’s kind of the reason she named me Billie. It’s not about being a strong woman — it’s about being a strong person. She once told me, ‘I never sat you down with a credo. It was more about leading by example.’

This powerful statement began circulating after Fisher’s death on Twitter. By raising Lourd “without gender,” Fisher allowed her to blossom and become her own person, without being constrained or defined by unfair gender stereotypes. Lourde was able to grow up as a confident kid, and isn’t that how all children should feel? Self-confidence and kindness are two of the best traits parents can instill in their offspring.

Bravo Carrie Fisher.

https://www.bustle.com/p/carrie-fisher-raised-her-daughter-without-gender-which-is-a-wonderful-lesson-for-moms-everywhere-26543

Tags: , ,