LACY + KALLIE
Straight ally, health and life coach, Lacy Young, talks about how heartbreaking it was to see her sister endure her grandparents’ reaction as she stood in her truth.
To be who you are in this life, the bravery that is involved and the pure love…well, that’s just everything. For some that means doing the work that is calling you and for others that means loving the person that reflects your beauty back to you like no one else can. It’s my hope that each of us can BE who we are and in doing so live the life we desire. There’s this neat side effect that happens when you start living in truth, it gives other people permission to do the same. We could all use a little more truth, happiness and permission. Don’t you think?
‘We love you. We are very sad that our granddaughter is going to hell. Your partner and children will not be welcome in our home.”
These are the words my sweet baby sister, Kallie recited back to me through a shaky and tear-filled voice. She was a senior in high school standing in her truth with her paternal grandparents for the first time. We have different dads and her dad’s grandparents are deeply mislead people. These people who had loved and celebrated her all these years were suddenly cold and closed off, cemented in their conviction that her “chosen” sexual preference was W R O N G. At the time she came out to them she was single and didn’t know if she even wanted children but her imaginary children and non-existent partner were not welcome and would never be welcome in their home. She later received a long letter from her grandmother pleading with her to stop telling people she is gay, marry a nice man and move on with her life.
There was no grand coming out for the rest of the family. We all already knew that Kallie was attracted to girls and it didn’t change anything. I introduced her to her second girlfriend when she was in high school. Kallie asked mom if she could go and see her. Mom asked, “Are you two dating?” She said yes and that was it.
My earliest memories of Kallie are of her inner light, her bouncy yellow curls, squeaky voice, killer sense of humor and the way she loved everyone and everything with such purity. Thirteen years her senior I feel like I helped raise her. I made sure to cover the basics and all the stuff that I wished I’d been taught growing up.
When I told her that she had a vagina she said she wanted another one. That should have been my first clue but I didn’t give it too much weight since she also claimed that her pipe cleaner bracelet symbolized her love for pie. She was in kindergarten. When she was in fourth grade, I told her that loving the person is what’s most important and she said, “Ok! Thank goodness because the penis totally freaks me out.”
Today Kallie is happy and married…to a woman. They married last April in San Diego and are going to have a Texas wedding in May 2015 for friends and family where they plan on serving pie.
Lacy Young is a health and life coach and the creator of Campaign for Confidence. She’s a former junk food junkie turned green juice aficionado! Lacy believes in the power of fruits + veggies and their ability to heal the body, mind and spirit!