Let’s Talk About Sex – Part 2

The exhibit, Undress Your Mind, at the Institute of Sexology certainly followed through on its promises with over 200 artifacts from around the world spanning art, film, photography and more. The exhibit, while about sex and the study of sex, was about just that: the science of sex.  How it has been viewed over the ages, particularly as seen through the work of pioneers like Kinsey, Mead and Freud.

It took me nearly an hour to meander my way past strange sexual contraptions, close-up photos of genitalia and phallic art from around the world.  The end was rather anticlimactic, the last portion of the exhibit featuring rather boring interviews from four researchers on the subject.   It would be untrue to say that any of this wasn’t interesting — but as I wandered my way through the exhibit, I was left wanting for more.

As I was preparing to leave, I stopped to sit down a minute next to some groups of girls huddled in a corner, up against a wall, looking at a graphic book of photographs featuring peoples’ naked bodies.  That felt like the most interesting part of my experience at the exhibit — witnessing this fascination we have with ourselves and why its such a source of embarrassment and sometimes shame.  As if our curiosities are ours alone, as if we are not in any way part of a larger whole — we somehow think that we are different in our wanting to see, to feel, to touch, moreso than anyone else.

As I reflected there on the seat near the exit, I felt disappointed.  Like I hadn’t been loved properly.  I wasn’t sure why I was left unsatisfied with the entire exhibit and I also wasn’t sure how I was going to write about anything interesting.

When all else fails, get your iPhone out of your purse and check your messages.  I had an email from my mother in Dallas.  Her neighbor had lost his battle with cancer, she said.  Life goes by in a blink, she said.

Reading about a loss after having just spent an hour  mulling over life’s primal life force, it occurred to me what I had been hoping for and from this exhibit without being fully conscious of it.  I wanted it to be about something more than just sex.  I wanted it to be about love and connection and how sex fuels these things.  I wanted it to be less about the early days of sexual research and more illustrative of how this research has allowed humans to become more comfortable with ourselves.  I wanted it to be about how sex shapes our lives.  How our yearnings and desire for one another, while fundamentally necessary, bear both positive and totally disastrous consequences in our lives.  I wanted it to be about the meaning of the role of sex in our lives.  Perhaps that was the whole point of the exhibit — to get us thinking.  And as far as the meaning of the role of sex in our lives, I suppose that’s the conclusion we must conjure for ourselves.

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Let’s Talk About Sex

Let’s Talk About Sex

After the shocking news of what happened in France this week and then Russia’s ridiculous decision to ban drivers with so-called “sex disorders,” I’m thinking about opposites.

The opposite of love is hate.  And hate is, obviously, what both of these headlines have in common.

But I don’t want to talk about hate.  It gets far too much attention as it is.

In the spirit of “make love, not war” what I actually want to talk about is sex.

Today I’m in London and heading to the Institute of Sexology for its current exhibit, “Undress Your Mind.”

“Moving between pathologies of perversion and contested ideas of normality,” the exhibit “shows how sex has been observed, analysed and questioned from the late 19th century to the present day.”

What particularly interests me is how the Institute “highlights the profound effect that the gathering and analysis of information can have in changing attitudes and lifting taboos.”

Sound familiar?  I believe it resonates loudly with what we’re doing here at Hayden’s List.  By gathering people’s opinion, of course our main mission is to direct the LGBT community to those with open doors.  But zoom out a little and look at things through a wider lens and you’ll see that by gathering this information en masse, we have the potential to create real change on very large scale.

That’s Part 1 of my sex talk.

I’m going to let a little tension build now.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

And while you’re waiting…maybe you could create a little momentum for change and leave a few reviews?

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Christmas Love

Christmas Love

Happy Christmas Eve, Everybody!

As you guys know by now, we love to love here at Hayden’s List.  And because love is the reason for the season, we want to know where you guys celebrate your love.

Is there a particular service you attend or would recommend?

Do you go to a welcoming church, synagogue or temple?

Where do you gather in the name of love?

Tell us because we’d really like to join you.

Wherever you worship, however you celebrate love, we wish you warmth and joy this season.

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Let Love Rule

let_love_rule_by_oliflys-d3ow5plToday is October 3, 2014.  Why is this day important?  It’s not.  Not really.  Except that it’s one more day that the Supreme Court has yet to take action on what everyone has labeled “gay marriage.”  And yet the issue isn’t really about “gay” marriage (whatever that means).  We don’t know about you, but here at Hayden’s List, we’re tired of this kind of talk.  We want lawmakers to address the real issue here — and it’s not about “gays” and it’s not really even about marriage.  It’s way bigger than that.  It’s about equal rights.  It’s about the spirit of freedom, the very principles upon which this great country was founded.  October 3, 2014 might not seem significant right now.  But we hold a flicker of hope that it will go down in history as one of the last days of its kind.  And so, on this very special occasion, dear U.S.  Supreme Court, we would like to dedicate a song to you.  With all due respect, we hope you hurry up and get out of the way and as Lenny Kravitz says, LET LOVE RULE.

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