Growing Up Hayden


We’ve named our blog, Growing Up Hayden because we feel it’s a testament to what it is to live in the now, in a world where the LGBT community is fighting for acceptance and equality.  Our content is focused on all aspects of what it is to live, love and thrive in what’s still a very judgmental world.  Growing Up Hayden is a live narrative that we hope will continue to illustrate positive changes and a more and more loving, open and welcoming world.

Biphobia Revealed in ABC Sitcom

Actress Sara Ramirez identifies as bisexual as did her character on Grey’s Anatomy. Therefore it was no surprise that Ramirez found a bisexual joke offensive on the ABC sitcom The Real O’Neals.

So what was this offensive comment? On the January 17, 2017 episode of The Real O’Neals, Noah Galvin’s openly gay character, Kenny, compared being bisexual to having “webbed toes” or “money problems.”

Ramirez tweeted a link to a petition imploring ABC to “end biphobia and bi-erasure” on the sitcom. Ramirez also retweeted a January 18th statement from the LGBTQ advocacy group PFLAG, which partnered on the episode in question. “We were so focused on the family acceptance portion of the episode that we completely missed the joke,” the statement said. “In hindsight, we should have caught it and we blew it. We should have done better and we will definitely do better next time. As allies we have a responsibility to own it when we mess up.”

Galvin also addressed the joke last month on Twitter, writing that the show “respects and loves the bi community,” and that the joke represented “a panicky teen expressing his ‘deepest fear’ which was his boyfriend leaving him for a girl.” He added, “I am sorry if we offended anyone. I hope you know our show fights for visibility and inclusivity and we will do better in the future. BUT, we also have to remember, it’s a comedy.”

ABC refused to comment.

Do you watch The Real O’Neals? Did you find the joke offensive? Comment here with your thoughts.

Sara Ramirez criticizes ABC over ‘biphobia’ in ‘Real O’Neals’ episode

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It’s About More Than Flowers

Curt Freed and Robert Ingersoll got engaged just before The Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality, when the State of Washington was recognizing same-sex marriages.  The couple were longtime customers of Arlene’s Flowers in Richland, Washington. The couple asked owner Barronelle Stutzman about arrangements for their wedding.

Stutzman, who is an ardent evangelical, denied the couple’s request saying she could not support a wedding that her faith forbids. “I was not discriminating at all,” she told CNN in 2013. “I never told him he couldn’t get married. I gave him recommendations for other flower shops.”

The couple sued along with the state attorney general. On February 16, 2017 the Washington State Supreme Court ruled that the florist violated the state’s anti-discrimination law.

The judges sided with Ingersoll and Freed’s argument that their case was about more than access to flowers, just as civil rights cases of the 1960s were about more than access to sandwiches.  “As every other court to address the question has concluded, public accommodations laws do not simply guarantee access to goods or services. Instead, they serve a broader societal purpose: eradicating barriers to the equal treatment of all citizens in the commercial marketplace.”

With marriage equality now legal in all fifty states, this ruling joins “a growing body of case law rejecting business owners’ claims of first amendment protections as grounds for discrimination,” said Elizabeth Gill, the ACLU’s senior staff attorney and co-counsel for the couple. “It sends a really strong message that for the state of Washington inclusion and acceptance is incredibly important,” she said. “It’s an important contribution to the growing body of case law that rejects the idea that people operating in the public space can discriminate.”

“We’re thrilled that the Washington Supreme Court has ruled in our favor. The court affirmed that we are on the right side of law and the right side of history,” Freed and Ingersoll said in a statement. “We felt it was so important that we stand up against discrimination because we don’t want what happened to us to happen to anyone else. We are so glad that we stood up for our rights.”

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A “Beautiful Modern Family”

A “Beautiful Modern Family”

Retired U.S. soccer star Abby Wambach is engaged to Christian mom blogger Glennon Doyle Melton. The blogger made the announcement on her Facebook page over President’s Day weekend. “Abby and I have decided to hold hands forever,” she wrote. Wambach and Melton went public with their relationship last November.

Melton split with her husband of fourteen years in 2016 and Wambach split from her wife of two years, Sarah Huffman, also in late 2016. Wambach and Huffman received notoriety when the former couple shared a high-profile kiss after Wambach led the U.S. women’s soccer team to victory in the 2015 World Cup.

Melton said that Wambach, “…loves me for all the things I’ve always wanted to be loved for.  She’s just my favorite.” We are a “beautiful, modern family,” Melton wrote.

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Mocked for Having “Gay” Voice

Ryan Murphy, the creator of two beloved American TV shows, “American Horror Story” and “Glee,” has been mocked by TV executives for having a “gay” voice.

‘I never thought that my voice was gay until he repeated it back to me, but I literally was stunned into silence. He was just being really, really brutal to me.’

That didn’t stop Murphy.  He carried on, despite the obstacles.

‘I didn’t dare even start off writing gay characters, but I had sort of outlandish characters in there and I would get notes literally from executives saying, “Can this character dress less gay?” Even if it was like a straight woman.

‘Or, “The language coming out of this character’s mouth seems very flamboyant, which we think is too gay and will offend some of our viewers. Can you take that out?’

‘Then two things happened,’ he added. ‘It just sort of made me mad, so I just sort of leaned into it and, you know, I wrote a bisexual character. I started to write about lesbianism … I had gay characters. I would say, “No. I won’t do it. Why do you want it taken out?”

We’re glad Murphy persevered.  His writing has given us some of our favorite characters.

Republican Stands Up to Trump’s School Bathroom Ruling

Republican Ileana Ros-Lehtinen called Trump’s school bathroom ruling, a “lamentable” decision.  ‘Every transgender person is part of someone’s family and should be treated with compassion and protected from discrimination,’ she said in the PSA.

A year ago, Ros-Lehtinen, along with her husband former U.S. Attorney, made a Public Service Announcement with their son, who was transitioning.  ‘We should be working toward ensuring all American children feel safe and accepted in their schools, regardless of where they live, their race, creed, gender identity or sexual orientation.’