Hayden’s List Hurdles



By: Regina Tingle

Like any new venture Hayden’s List is facing challenges. Our biggest challenge so far? Getting people to leave reviews. Sure, there are loads of people leaving reviews but the truth is, lots of people who believe in what we’re doing and who are vocal, supporting members of the LGBT community say they’re very excited to leave a review and then just don’t. We wanted to know why so we’ve asked around and received good feedback. Here are the reasons why people aren’t reviewing, including our responses:

Hurdle Number 1:
People don’t want to review a company or service provider solely based on LGBT-friendliness.

HL: There are a lot of good service providers out there who aren’t just providing good service to LGBT community members but to everyone. Would-be reviewers are finding they don’t want to review because they don’t want to “limit” the business. We understand this and we appreciate the open-minded attitude. The thing is, there are a lot people in the world who aren’t “out” yet or don’t plan on being “out” and would like to know where they might be treated fairly and equally regardless of their sexual orientation. Whether openly gay or lesbian, straight, male, female, asexual, trans; whichever way you identify or choose not to identify we are all Hayden’s List and this is our entire mission: we want to direct our community to those with open doors.

Hurdle Number 2:
People don’t want to “out” themselves by leaving a review.

HL: You can leave a review anonymously. Hayden’s List asks your first name and email address because we must verify the authencity of the review. The information provided remains anonymous and only the review is publicized.

Hurdle Number 3:
People think it takes a long time to leave a review.

HL: Actually leaving a review takes less than a minute. Some of our best reviews are less than five words.

Hurdle Number 4:
People don’t want to inadvertedly “out” a business owner by leaving a review about how LGBT friendly they are.

HL: One’s choice to be publicly “out” or not is a delicate matter that should be handled with respect and discretion. Reviewers should remember that just because a service provider is LGBT-friendly and is noted for being LGBT-friendly does not automatically categorize them as being openly LGBT themselves. As for worrying about “outing” to the larger community, chances are those who aren’t supportive of the LGBT movement aren’t spending much time looking at who’s reviewing and being reviewed on Hayden’s List.

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Vote!  When People Raise Their Voices There is Power

Vote! When People Raise Their Voices There is Power

While this is certainly not the case for Everyperson in Everytown, USA, it seems that something is happening across this nation.  Some of us have begun to remember that what we want matters.  Those of us who were napping or not getting to the polls or forgetting to ask for an absentee ballot have started rubbing our eyes, asking ‘Wait, what?’  If we weren’t before, we’re sitting up and tuning in.  More of us have started to care more and as a result, things are shifting.

Unlike in other countries where voting is compulsory, in this country, it’s “just” an option.  This is, of course, another one of the many freedoms Americans enjoy: choice.  We have the option to care or not care.  It seems that in order for us to care most, the things we care about most must be threatened.  Our freedom must be at stake.  And that’s the thing: there’s a lot of freedom at stake, depending on which way things go, depending on who’s voting and how they vote.

Election day feels like the perfect opportunity to take a minute and be reminded of what the Declaration of Independence states:


When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.


Voting allows us the freedom and the right to “alter or abolish” and institute the new.  No, it doesn’t happen overnight.  But as Americans we’re fortunate to have had keen foresight from our founding fathers.  Thanks to their vision of freedom and equality, we have a foundation which allows for change, should we want it.  And it certainly sounds like we want it.


When people raise their voices there is power.


Blog entries we love about voting:

Seth Godin’s “I’m not a Cobbler”


Dulcie Witman’s “Selection Day”




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An Important Question We Received

question-mark We recently received an email inquiry and figured it was beneficial to share with everyone.  You know, kind of like in high school when one person raises their hand and asks something, it turns out the whole class was actually wondering the same thing.


We love getting email from you guys, so don’t be shy, write away!  (And show your love and support by submitting reviews!)


Dear Hayden’s List,

I have someone I’d like to review on your site but I’m concerned about “outing” them to the world wide web.  They have a really good clientele and as far as I know they are openly “out” but to err on the side of caution I have yet to review them.  What do you guys suggest? 

Thanks for your feedback,
Concerned Supporter

Dear Concerned Supporter,

That’s a very good question and we’re glad you asked.

We understand it can be tricky and we certainly don’t want to compromise anyone’s privacy if they choose to keep their sexual orientation to themselves.

Just know that reviewing a business or a service provider as LGBT-friendly does not mean you are outing anyone’s sexual orientation.  It just means you are classifying how friendly their attitude was to you as an ally or a member of the LGBT community.

If you are personally uncomfortable reviewing as an ally or a member of the LGBT community, you may choose to remain anonymous when you leave your review.

We hope this answers your question and we hope you leave some reviews!

Thank you,
The Hayden’s List Team

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We’ve Only Just Begun

We’ve Only Just Begun

Good news.

Wyoming is now free to marry.

Idaho, too.

In the northern-most town of Alaska, in a town where not even roads exist, the first known gay couple marries.

One glance at the news this week and it’s easy to assume that because there’s progress, the battle is over.  Sure, these are much-awaited victories that we’re happy to rejoice and celebrate but the reality is, this is just the start.  While we gain traction with equality on a national scale, there’s still a lot more to do before we gain our footing in places where it counts, such as within schools, churches, communities and sometimes our own families.  Until people change their attitudes and open their hearts to love and in love, the truth is, to quote the Carpenters, We’ve only just begun.

This is why Hayden’s List exists.  We want to give the community a voice.  We want you to speak out and have your say.

Have you been somewhere and been treated less than fairly?  Tell the world wide web about it.

Have you had an excellent experience and want to commend your favorite dentist or doctor or local cafe?  Write a review.

Don’t keep it to yourself, share with your community and be an active part of making the difference you want to see in the world.




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Happy National Coming Out Day

Happy National Coming Out Day

Happy National Coming Out Day!  How are you celebrating today?  Hayden’s List is celebrating by attending Come Out With Pride in Orlando.

If you’re about in Orlando today, be sure to stop by our booth (Blue 34).   Leave a review and get a tattoo!

The day has arrived.  It’s officially time.  We’re out.  We’re live.  We are all Hayden’s List.

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We Are All Hayden’s List

Here at Hayden’s List we often find ourselves shaking our heads.

Recently it was about baker Melissa Klein from Oregon who refused to bake a wedding cake for a lesbian couple.  According to Klein’s statement, she didn’t have anything against lesbians or homosexuals.  She was just acting in accordance to her moral and religious beliefs.


Then, there was the sad case back in August where New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Florida denied holding a funeral service for Julion Evans, a long-time member of the congregation.


We’d love to know if New Hope Missionary Church ever denied Evon’s (or his husband’s) weekly tithing.

The reality is, these are just a fraction of what’s happening out there.  We can’t make sense of this kind of hate (especially when it’s masked behind religious righteousness) and yet it happens every day, everywhere.  Most stories never even get close to making the news.

But this is why we’re here.  Hayden’s List is a space created by people who care and want to help make a difference.   And we believe that together we really can help change things for the better.

You, me, we.  

We are all Hayden’s List.



Know a LGBT friendly place to worship or ever had your own bad experience?  Help us make a change today, right now and submit a review.