Not So Fun Fact About America
Fact: In America it’s easier for a convicted murderer sentenced to life in prison to marry than it is if you’re a same-sex couple.
We’ve named our blog, Growing Up Hayden because we feel it’s a testament to what it is to live in the now, in a world where the LGBT community is fighting for acceptance and equality. Our content is focused on all aspects of what it is to live, love and thrive in what’s still a very judgmental world. Growing Up Hayden is a live narrative that we hope will continue to illustrate positive changes and a more and more loving, open and welcoming world.
Fact: In America it’s easier for a convicted murderer sentenced to life in prison to marry than it is if you’re a same-sex couple.
According to a buzzfeed quiz, Which founding father is your soul mate? if I were a colonial, bonnet-wearing babe from back in the day,I’d have apparently had the hots for George Washington.
I’m not usually the kind of gal who likes pony-tale toting men. However, looking past the pony-tail, I read on. It seems I’m attracted to “raw power” and “alpha males.”
True.
Apparently I “want the best or nothing at all.”
Can’t argue with that.
The last few days I’ve been in Philadelphia (city of brotherly love), enjoying a thorough and much-needed review of American history. This city is the birthplace of our nation as it is today; a place where the presence of our founding fathers is palpable and George is definitely in the midst. Today I felt him at the National Constitution Center when I came across his beautiful, awe-inspiring words:
“…I do not conceive that we are more inspired — have more wisdom — or possess more virtue than those who will come after us. The power under the constitution will always be with the people.”
Our country was gifted with an incredible first leader; a wise, humble human being full of hope for the future, full of faith in the people.
Today, I kind of fell in love with George. I fell in love all over again with America, too.
“Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light.” — George Washington
Tags: Constitution, founding fathers, George Washington, National Constitution Center, national constitution center, soulmate
We have to admit, it’s almost comical.
Historically, it’s always been the LGBTQ-ers of the world that have been called and considered “confused.”
Who’s confused now?
The United States of America, that’s who.
Missouri especially. Right now in St. Louis same-sex marriage is legal but not quite yet in other counties across the state.
To be exact, same-sex marriage is legal in thirty-two states. But, what happens to your hard-earned marriage when you cross into Tennessee? Does love become illegal?
Frankly, we second what Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry said when he urged the Supreme Court to “swiftly take these cases, affirm the freedom to marry, and bring national resolution once and for all.”
We grew up holding our hand over our heart and pledging allegiance to the flag, “one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.” Nowhere in there does it, did it or has it ever said, “depending on where you live.”
Tags: same-sex marriage, Supreme Court
While this is certainly not the case for Everyperson in Everytown, USA, it seems that something is happening across this nation. Some of us have begun to remember that what we want matters. Those of us who were napping or not getting to the polls or forgetting to ask for an absentee ballot have started rubbing our eyes, asking ‘Wait, what?’ If we weren’t before, we’re sitting up and tuning in. More of us have started to care more and as a result, things are shifting.
Unlike in other countries where voting is compulsory, in this country, it’s “just” an option. This is, of course, another one of the many freedoms Americans enjoy: choice. We have the option to care or not care. It seems that in order for us to care most, the things we care about most must be threatened. Our freedom must be at stake. And that’s the thing: there’s a lot of freedom at stake, depending on which way things go, depending on who’s voting and how they vote.
Election day feels like the perfect opportunity to take a minute and be reminded of what the Declaration of Independence states:
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Voting allows us the freedom and the right to “alter or abolish” and institute the new. No, it doesn’t happen overnight. But as Americans we’re fortunate to have had keen foresight from our founding fathers. Thanks to their vision of freedom and equality, we have a foundation which allows for change, should we want it. And it certainly sounds like we want it.
When people raise their voices there is power.
Blog entries we love about voting:
Seth Godin’s “I’m not a Cobbler”
and
Dulcie Witman’s “Selection Day”
Tags: Declaration of Independence, Dulcie Witman, Election Day, Equality, Freedom, Seth Godin, Voting, We Are All Hayden's List
Love. Justice. Family.
Equality. Those are the beautiful and moving words you see when you go to the website of one of our favorite nonprofit organizations, Family Equality Council.
This Saturday, November 8th FEC is hosting an event highlighting their southern initiatives in Atlanta. Not only is the evening designated as a fundraising event but also as a “friendraiser,” an opportunity to share all the good work they do with a larger audience.
Certainly a lot of good has been done but there’s still more to be accomplished, especially in the south. For example, according to Family Equality Council, LGBTQ parents raising children live in 93% of all US counties but we also live in the highest proportions in the states with fewest protections for LGBTQ people. As a result, Family Equality Council now has placed staff in the south who are working along with rest of their national team to build programs and advocacy that support LGBTQ-headed families across the region.
Recently they’ve piloted a new project in Mississippi, providing a free legal clinic for LGBTQ low-income families — a project they hope to replicate across the southern states. Elizabeth Haranas says, “Our goal is to introduce Family Equality Council to the locals, sharing with LGBTQ community and allies in Atlanta the programs we offer and the exciting plans we have for the south in the coming year and beyond.”
If you live in Atlanta or happen to be passing through the city this Saturday, they’d love to have you. Don’t live in Atlanta but want to find a way to get involved? Family Equality Council is always seeking volunteers. In the South, they’re launching the Southern Advisory Council and are looking for people interested in becoming a member. If you’d like more information, please contact Tatiana Quironga TQuiroga@
When I was a kid all I ever really wanted to be for Halloween was a punk rocker. Every year it was the same. For me, a child of the 80s, there existed no other costume. It was the most likely scenario in which my mother would allow me to wear garish make up, tease my already-big hair, lacquer-coat my bangs as high as they would go and wear all the big, bangle, dangle jewelry my ten year old heart desired. I didn’t care that all my friends would come up with something new and creative each October. All I ever did was come up with a new version of my personal classic costume, my latest interpretation of punk rock. (Whatever that even means.)
Looking back as an adult on this (one and only) childhood peculiarity of mine, I think Halloween was less about pretending to be something else other than my kid self and more about becoming. In my delusional ten year old mind, growing up to be a punk rocker was a potential reality. It’s comical really to think back on, but it was also genuine and earnest and true. I was convinced I actually had a pretty good shot at becoming the next Madonna or Cyndi Lauper. But really, when I stood in front of the mirror and lined my eyes with dark blue kohl pencil, instinctively knowing how without being taught, what I was doing was trying myself on for size. Dressing up as a punk rocker was an access point, a portal, a crystal ball. It was a way to see myself as myself before it was an actual reality.
It’s no coincidence that I stopped wanting or feeling the need to dress up for Haloween when I hit puberty. It just happened. One day I’m a kid and the next I’m not. I got my period like most girls around my age and then I had to go through the horribly embarrassing sex conversations with my parents and even shop for the most humiliating, boring white garment a girl could get to wear: a “training bra.” Then one day I was no longer training, I was simply a woman. Finally, it was happening — albeit not in the glamorous way I had hoped and dreamed it would, but alas, I was allowed to get my ears pierced at Claire’s and start shaving my legs every other week.
Becoming a woman was my birthright. No one ever told me I couldn’t do it. In fact, it was the opposite, it was expected of me. That is the reality of the culture I grew up in. Lucky for me, it suited my sexuality. I never had to come out like Tim Cook just did and say in front of millions, Hey look, everybody, I’m me. I never had to take off a mask in front of the world to reveal myself. I was lucky enough to be allowed to just grow up as myself, which was hard and scary enough as it was.
There’s a lot of people who say it doesn’t matter and that the world doesn’t need to know about one’s sexual orientation. Maybe that’s true for some people, people like me who are heterosexual and accepted. I’ve often asked myself “does it really matter?” and the answer I’ve come up with is that when the world stops being so oppressive and judgmental it will stop mattering.
Me? I’m no punk rocker. But I’m not so different from that little girl in lots of make up who dreamed of being one. I say, this year, if you don’t know what to be for Halloween, go as yourself, honey. It’s your birthright. And if everyone doesn’t love you, find a new everyone.
We recently received an email inquiry and figured it was beneficial to share with everyone. You know, kind of like in high school when one person raises their hand and asks something, it turns out the whole class was actually wondering the same thing.
We love getting email from you guys, so don’t be shy, write away! (And show your love and support by submitting reviews!)
Dear Hayden’s List,
I have someone I’d like to review on your site but I’m concerned about “outing” them to the world wide web. They have a really good clientele and as far as I know they are openly “out” but to err on the side of caution I have yet to review them. What do you guys suggest?
Thanks for your feedback,
Concerned Supporter
Dear Concerned Supporter,
That’s a very good question and we’re glad you asked.
We understand it can be tricky and we certainly don’t want to compromise anyone’s privacy if they choose to keep their sexual orientation to themselves.
Just know that reviewing a business or a service provider as LGBT-friendly does not mean you are outing anyone’s sexual orientation. It just means you are classifying how friendly their attitude was to you as an ally or a member of the LGBT community.
If you are personally uncomfortable reviewing as an ally or a member of the LGBT community, you may choose to remain anonymous when you leave your review.
We hope this answers your question and we hope you leave some reviews!
Thank you,
The Hayden’s List Team